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Brenda Silverman
Registered Counsellor in Shenley

Registered Counsellor Brenda Silverman

Consulting Rooms (by appointment)

Full address provided upon booking, King Charles Road
Shenley
Radlett

Hertfordshire
WD7 9HZ

General Availability

  • Weekday Daytimes
  • Weekday Evenings

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Professional Title

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) Registered Counsellor

Summary

Counselling in Shenley, Radlett

  • Individual £50 - 50 minutes
  • Couple £60 - 50 minutes
  • Family £65 - 50 minutes
Payment Methods Accepted: Cash, Cheque
Languages: English

Issues Covered

  • Abuse
  • Anger
  • Anxiety and Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
  • Bereavement
  • Depression
  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
  • Relationship Problems
  • Self Esteem
  • Sexual Problems
  • Stress
  • Substance Dependence


Therapies

  • Counselling
  • Systemic Therapy


Gender

Female

More Detail

Over 3 Years Post-Registration Experience

Welcome. I am Brenda Silverman. I'm a registered counsellor - I support individuals, couples and families with their psychological health. I hold private and voluntary sector experience as a counsellor. My focus involves relationship problems, self esteem and sexual problems, as well as the specific issues faced by men, transgender people and women.

What to Expect

An initial assessment session enables you to see if you are comfortable with me, share what concerns you, ask questions, understand confidentiality, and decide if therapy may assist you. Please use a contact option on the right to book an initial assessment session in Shenley, Radlett.

Counselling

Counselling centres on listening to you, and supporting you. You decide what matter regarding your early years and/or adult life you discuss. The aim of counselling is to enable you to speak about a problem and discover a solution which is appropriate for you.

Systemic Therapy

Systemic therapy focuses on the organisation of interactions between you and others. It identifies the interactions which maintain the relationship conflicts you experience. Systemic therapy seeks to help you enhance how you communicate with people.

Thoughts on Mental Health

It's important to try to make it as pleasurable as possible in small ways - maybe plan something nice to do at least once a week, which will give them something to look forward to. Get friends and family to help you out and, in return, you do the same for them. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it and, if you are in a relationship, get your partner to help. Is there any paid holiday due? If family is nearby and willing, ask for help. If they're further away but still willing, perhaps an overnight stay might be helpful. If you can encourage your children to do specific tasks, depending on their age and capability, then washing-up, dishwasher duty, laundry, and other constant jobs can be off your hands for a month or so.
Read More: How to manage stress throughout the school holidays
Comments like 'don't mention this to anyone else in case it opens up a can of worms' can add to the shame and isolation that person may be experiencing and may put them off seeking help where appropriate.
Read More: What not to say to someone with mental health problems
OCD is something that many people label themselves as having, or use about people they know, when they display tendencies of one kind or another that are regular features of their everyday lives. I'm sure, if you think about it, you can list at least three habits or rituals you always do in the same order. It is worth thinking about the things we do habitually and the reasons behind them. If they seem to have a valid reason, such as safety at home or cleanliness, or they're routines that save us time, then they are probably quite useful and have just become part of our lives. The opposite is true of people really affected by OCD, as in some severe cases it can stop that person from fully living their lives.
Read More: 8 things you probably describe as 'OCD' but aren't
Some mothers-to-be express extreme anxiety about being able to be 'good mums'. They may feel unable to draw on their mothers or significant caregivers for many reasons - either they are not physically available due to living in different countries, or are from situations where there was a lack of maternal caregiving. Loneliness and fear can seem overwhelming. I encourage parents-to-be to understand the difference between being a perfect parent (very hard to keep up) and a 'good enough' parent, where baby is kept clean, fed, held and safe. Anxiety is part of pregnancy, and asking for help is always better than struggling alone with your worries.
Read More: How to take care of your mental health and wellbeing during pregnancy
Improvements began to show after even the first few sessions, when their arguments seemed to be more open and they were able to leave them before they became heated. They became more self aware of how much their lives had been fairly ordered until now - meeting when they were young, going to university, living together, starting their careers, going on holidays, enjoying their lives together, planning their wedding, etc. Their life stages were carefully mapped, and then they found themselves floundering in unknown waters.
Read More: Your experiences: A counselling solution for relationship problems
In discussions I've had recently with people experiencing mental health problems, about what would help, they all replied similarly: talk to them directly, instead of those who are with them. Many said going out in social/domestic circumstances may be hard enough but they also felt that people, including professionals, talked and looked at their companions, making them feel unimportant or, worse still, invisible.
Read More: Time To Talk Day 2015: Ten things you can do to help combat stigma
"One of the causes of low self esteem in later life can stem from the feeling of not being useful or important any more. For some people this can often occur when they retire from a high level position in their working life. You are suddenly faced with being in a different sphere, whereas before you may have felt defined by your job and your achievements in your workplace. You may have had a team of people who reported to you, or been part of a large group. Maybe your work involved travel and social activities too. After your retirement, not only might you miss the comradeship and buzz of your busy work life, but also you now may be left with little else to occupy yourself. Money may be less available, and you also may then begin to wonder whether you can do anything again that will make you feel important. Your self-esteem may begin to plummet as time goes on, making it harder for you to move forward to do something new or different.
Read More: Therapists explain common causes of self esteem problems
One of the most hopeful things about New Year's resolutions is the chance to do something different, and mentally or physically 'start over'. The chance or excuse to do this at a given time is that extra push some people need. Feeling that a New Year equals a new start is something that can give you the momentum you need to do something you have wanted to do anyway, but have put off trying to do at other times of the year. Trying to keep it going into February is hard. The second month of the year is generally the time when many people give up; after the initial push and excitement of keeping that resolution going, it tends to wane and waver. Doing something different is always hard, and I would always recommend the same pattern for change in any difficult circumstance - take it day by day. Every day you can manage to do something that you have wanted, tried and failed to do before, is another day of achievement. If you have a blip, treat it as exactly what it is - a blip. It is not the end of the road for the resolution.
Read More: New Year 2015: The psychology of New Year's resolutions
Sexual addiction is something that some people find hard to take seriously and cannot understand how this can manifest itself in a relationship. However, if your partner cannot ever seem to be satisfied with the frequency of sex, and the actual physical act seems to bear little or no difference to their needs, you may begin to realise that there is a problem that cannot be just a "high sex drive". If you are affected by this addiction, it can lead to many other difficulties in other areas of your life. This behaviour can involve constant masturbation, porn browsing, secrecy around spending, and putting yourself in extremely risky situations to satisfy a desire that is rarely fulfilled. You may find yourself losing your job through this, as well as ruining your relationships, getting into debt and becoming socially isolated. It is important to realise that, like any addiction, the compulsion is rarely static and often escalates as your needs are never fully met.
Read More: Psychological causes of sexual problems
One of the most difficult losses for the bereaved to come to terms with is that of suicide. For those left behind there are so many difficulties around their grief. When a loved one has committed suicide you may feel shame that someone close to you has done this - almost guilt by association, asking yourself time and time again if you could have prevented it. You may experience feelings of helplessness that you may have been able to do more to help them, constantly wondering how things could have been different. Unlike other deaths, suicide is often accompanied by official enquiries, time delays between the death and the discovery, and many unanswered questions, that unfortunately are never or rarely satisfied. There is also a stigma attached to the loss, which means you may find people are less likely to offer you the type of comfort that may be shown after a loss due to age, illness, or a sudden death due to an accident. The shock of a suicide is so hard to come to terms with and those who are grieving are often left alone to grieve privately.
Read More: Exploring different causes of bereavement
Although sex in a relationship may not be the most important thing, when difficulties arise it can cause a lot of hurt, tension, misunderstanding and lack of intimacy. Amongst new parents, for example, many couples who had previously considered themselves to have a good sex life, may now feel that it has become non-existent or a major source of conflict and resentment. For some couples, sexual problems can form a pattern that is hard to change and can lead to resentment, rejection, hurt and retaliation. You may not cuddle anymore for fear of this being taken as an encouragement for sex. You may be spending more time on social media sites and separate mobile phones or laptops than with each other. Perhaps you feel there is little or no romance or 'setting the mood'. The more distant you and your partner become, the more unlikely it is that your previous sex life will return. Trying to communicate the need for talking, understanding and finding a good balance between life's other demands, and the effort of maintaining intimacy and closeness as a couple, can lead to an improvement in all areas of your relationship.
Read More: Common causes of relationship problems
When I feel that, by not asking or probing a little further, we are not getting to where the root of the difficulty may lie, I may offer some form of question or statement that may open some dialogue which has not been covered. Recently a client, who had been very guarded about taking any responsibility for the problems they were currently experiencing, seemed to be becoming more and more upset, and eventually shared with me some important information that they had not told anyone. This was extremely painful for them and afterward they told me that, although it had been awful to tell, they felt 'like a ton weight had been lifted'.
Read More: Establishing trust with your therapist

Clinical Qualifications

  • British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) Registered Counsellor since March 2013
  • Advanced Certificate
    Systemic Practice with Families and Couples
    Birkbeck College University of London (UK)
    July 2008
  • Certificate
    Marital and Couple Counselling Theory and Practice
    Relate (UK)
    February 2003

I abide by the Ethical Framework for Good Practice in Counselling and Psychotherapy of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).

Location Detail


My Consulting Address is in easy reach of

Shenley, Shenleybury, Radlett, Ridge, Colney Street, London Colney, Well End, South Mimms, Frogmore, Napsbury, Borehamwood, Park Street, Letchmore Heath, Tyttenhanger, Colney Heath, Bricket Wood, Aldenham, The Camp, Elstree, St Julians

Nearest Train Stations

  • Radlett (1.5 miles)
  • Elstree & Borehamwood (2.6 miles)
  • How Wood (Hertfordshire) (2.9 miles)
  • Bricket Wood (3.1 miles)
  • Park Street (3.1 miles)
  • Brookmans Park (4 miles)
  • St Albans (4 miles)
  • St Albans Abbey (4.1 miles)
  • Garston (Hertfordshire) (4.1 miles)
  • Potters Bar (4.1 miles)


Wheelchair access: Yes

Updated 25 April 2016