Bereavement
Bereavement is experienced when a loved one dies. Bereavement can involve strong emotions. It is a part of life that can feel unbearable. Bereaved people may feel OK one day and worse the next. In the UK, a country with a population of 61,400,000 people, the annual mortality rate is 700 in every 100,000 males and 499 in every 100,000 females (ONS). Although bereaved people are everywhere, their pain is private, as our western culture often avoids the subject.
When a loved one dies, people are often shocked, numbed, or dazed. They may feel overwhelming sadness, cry a lot, and become exhausted. Anger is a part of bereavement. People often feel angry at the person who died, an illness, doctors, nurses, or God if they have a faith, for leaving them with so much pain. Guilt is common in bereavement, about being angry, saying or not saying something, or for not having been able to save the loved person.
Two stanzas of Auden's poem Funeral Blues show the disorientation and finality in bereavement. "He was my North, my South, my East and West. My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong. The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; For nothing now can ever come to any good."
It is believed there are four stages in bereavement. These are accepting the loss is real, experiencing the pain of grief, adjusting to life without the person who died, and letting go of them in order to allow someone or something new in. People navigate this process. Others cannot cope. If you are concerned about a problem do not diagnose yourself. Always consult your GP or a therapist who is qualified to both diagnose the issue and help you work through it.
Articles on Bereavement
About Bereavement and TherapyAbout Bereavement Bereavement is one of the most intensely painful processes we go through in life. The idea of losing someone is...