Paul Mallott BA (Hons) Counselling Dip CBT

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Home Counselling - I can visit you. | Lincoln | Lincolnshire |

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Counsellor and Psychotherapist MBACP

I provide Face to Face Counselling, Psychotherapy from £60

Fees: Individuals £60.00, Couples £60.00
Approximate length of one appointment: 50 minutes
Approximate length of therapy: six sessions upwards.
Languages: English
I am in easy reach of: the Lincolnshire area only.
Wheelchair access: No

I provide Telephone Counselling for £47

Approximate length of one Telephone appointment: 50 minutes
Approximate length of Telephone counselling: six sessions upwards.
Languages: English

I provide Email Counselling for £20

Approximate time I will spend on an Email response to a client: 50 minutes
Approximate length of Email counselling: unlimited.
Languages: English

Problems I work with: Anxiety, Bereavement, Confidence issues, Couple relationships, Depression, Grief, Loss, Marriage (Marital relations), Panic attacks, Personal relationships, Physical illness, Self-esteem, Stress

Clinical Experience

I specialize in counselling by telephone and e-mail. I also provide home counselling - if you live within Lincolnshire and can provide a room in your home which is private and free from interruptions, I can visit you. If you are interested in home counselling, please email me with a contact telephone number: paul@rscpp.co.uk

I have experience in dealing with bereavement, personal relationship and marriage issues, physical illness, stress, low self-esteem and depression.

Having dealt with a disability myself for some years now, I have a great understanding of its effects and implications on one's life.

I am non-judgmental, empathic and above all a good listener. All information disclosed to me is strictly confidential and as a member of the BACP I am bound by their ethics.

However, should I feel a client is a danger to themselves or others, then I reserve the right to inform outside agencies, or should I at any time feel the client is beyond my areas of expertise and think that more specialized help is required, then I will endeavor to refer the client on.

How I Work

Having been a person centered counsellor with much experience, I since have qualified as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist. This is an approach to which I have had much recent success.

The approach unlike Person Centered involves the client to be involved to a greater extent.

For example homework tasks are agreed upon and set. The client completes the homework between sessions along with various reading material, and questionnaires. All of which helps the client to back up counselling sessions, with the ultimate "Goal" of future helping the client to counsel themselves.

However I still at the same time, use Person Centered skills such as Empathy, active listening and being non-judgmental to name a few, in conjunction with CBT.

Together we will identify "Blind Spots" and areas of missed opportunities. And in conjunction with you, set Goals which are realistic and above all, achievable.

I will not try or even tell you what to do, or how to change your life, but merely try to see the world from your perspective, explore with you the meanings you attach to your experiences, and together explore the possibilities and options which are open to you, as in the confusion, you may have missed these possibilities. Above all, and most importantly, I will "Listen" to you.

As counselling is not a quick fix, a number of sessions will be required depending on the issues you come with. Progress however will be reviewed on a regular basis.

Clinical Training

Dip. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (Distinction)
BA (Hons) Counselling and Psychology
Dip. Couns (Merit)
Dip. Grief. STU (Distinction)
Registered member of Counselling Ltd (Counsellors in the British Isles 2008)
Member of the National UK Therapists Register
Member of BACP (The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, which is the UK s professional membership association for Counsellors and Psychotherapists).

Additional Information

I am happily married, for 22 years now, with four children, all teenagers. I have personally dealt with death, disability, losing a job career through illness, and learned many of life's hard lessons, all of which has made me a stronger person, so if I can pass on some help to you, then "Great".

I am flexible in arranging times, and sessions. Having my own family I realize the needs of family commitments, when arranging times etc. I will therefore be as flexible as I can to suit your needs.

My Articles

What is Counselling?

You may come to counselling because you have a crisis, some troubles, doubts, difficulties, frustrations or concerns. These 'problems' may be causing you emotional turmoil which you are finding hard to come to terms with or deal with by yourself. By coming to a counsellor you can get the help you need to manage these problems more effectively.

Counselling provides an opportnuity to develop an understanding of why you are in such a state and what you can do to move forward in life. Understanding why you feel the why you do and making changes can help alleviate the feelings of being frightened or overwhelmed.

The waters of life are not always calm or easy to negotiate by oneself. As a counsellor I can gradually help you to loosen and open up your thoughts and feelings, enabling you to recognise any blind spots you may have missed and to help you become more effective in dealing with issues. This is achieved by the development of trust between you and me.

Over a period of time in safe, comfortable surroundings, by using my skills and listening to you, this trust becomes the secure base from which you and I will progress, to help you, and for you to help yourself.

Why Choose Counselling?

Deciding to start counselling can be a big decision to take. Here are some points to consider.

Counselling is not a quick fix: several sessions or more may be required depending on the issues and concerns you wish to come to counselling for.

Attendance is of great importance: you need to make the time available for counselling sessions on a regular basis, so that we may progress forward with your concerns or issues.

If you are shy or uneasy about talking to a stranger, you can relax, as I am not hear to judge you or to tell you what to do. I consider myself to be very empathic and understanding, and most people find me easy to communicate with.

Counselling can help you manage your problems in living more effectively and to develop unused resources and missed opportunities, together we can work through the issues you may have.

Anger

I recently went to the supermarket; this is an event in which I seldom partake, as it is my partner who is usually the one that does the shopping. Whilst I was there, we were trying to find a disabled bay to park in; I noticed the number of cars parked in disabled bays which had no blue badge displayed this began to make me feel angry. When we finally found a bay, before my wife even manoeuvred the car to park, a young woman drove into the slot jumped out of her car and preceded into the shopping centre, as you may or may not imagine, my anger increased.

I was not only angry for myself but also for more impaired people who use wheel chairs etc, or like myself cannot walk far and rely on the availability and convenience of these disabled bays. Especially if you use a wheel chair you require that extra room to get in and out of your car.

The question I must ask is “Am I angry with the abled body person for using these bays to park”. Or am I angry with the management of the shopping centre for not enforcing correct use of these bays?

By taking some deep breaths, pondering then examining my feelings, I soon realized, was there any real justification in feeling angry? Am I responsible for the inconsiderate act of others? Was this young woman, deliberately trying to upset me personally by parking in this bay? The answer is quite simply “NO”.

Why? Well the woman of course, did not know me personally, she may have just been in a hurry and not thought about where she had parked. As for the management of the supermarket, well I do not work in the supermarket, nor am I there 24 hours a day, therefore I do not see what steps they make take.

As for me, well I could wait for a bay to become free, what harm would another five minutes or so make or I could go to another supermarket. Finally would my feeling angry, make any difference to the situation or outcome, lets face it, the only person getting upset here was me, not the lady or the supermarket.

I suppose what I am trying to say is, that you and you alone, are responsible for the anger, the anger from within, it was not the lady or the supermarket that made me personally angry, it was my own interpretation of events and my own feelings which made me feel this way.

In counselling there is a lot “for” and “against”, the opinion that “Anger” is a good emotion, also a lot of evidence to support both. As for myself I am not going to say if it is right or wrong to get angry, I will say that in certain aspects of counselling where anger is controlled, it can be beneficial to the counselling process.

For me in this instance, by taking a step back and examining my own feelings, I soon realized there were other options, possibilities open to me, and no need on my behalf be angry.

Many years ago, prior to training as a counsellor, I would not have examined my own feelings nor even explored other possibilities, which were open to me; I merely would have become more and more angry, which then would have impacted on the rest of my shopping experience, and no doubt ruined the rest of the day.

Has this, or something similar, ever happened to you?

“Judgemental”

Recently I read a book by David D. Burns, M.D. “ Feeling Good”. I was reminded today of a particular story he described. Briefly the author told a story of a gentleman who in a restaurant when he had finished his glass of wine, he noticed the waiter continually topping up other's glasses on his table with wine, but completely kept missing him out.

The man kept thinking to himself that the waiter was rude and deliberately ignoring him, he was getting frustrated, a result of which his mind began to run amuck with reasons why he was being ignored, such as the waiter did not like him etc.

Finally he confronted the waiter and asked him why he had a problem with him? Seemingly ignoring him, when refilling other's glasses of wine at the table, and not his glass. The waiter explained, “I am terribly sorry sir, I had an argument with my girlfriend today, and my mind was elsewhere, so please accept my apologies”. The situation was resolved.

This leads me nicely on to my own experience. My next-door neighbour was chatting with me today, about how another neighbour, who had recently moved into the street was very 'ignorant'. My Neighbour explained, whenever she drove past this person who was walking her dog, she acknowledged her, by waving, yet the neighbour returned no such gesture, but merely put her head down and appeared to ignore her, and furthermore, whenever she was walking past her or stood in her garden, she would acknowledge her by saying hello, yet again there would be no response.

I had myself experienced the same, but thought nothing of it, and needless to say the only comment I made was perhaps she had not seen you, even though thinking to myself, her points had some merit.

Later on in the afternoon, I was putting out the rubbish, and this neighbour was walking toward me, with her dog. I said to her, “ What a beautiful dog, it must take some looking after, to keep it looking so healthy?" Well that was all it took, the lady erupted into conversation, and kept me talking to me for half an hour. During the course of the conversation she explained that she worked shifts, from 7pm till 1am with learning disability children, and was often exhausted in the morning, but found it hard to sleep, so she would take her dog for a walk, and be oblivious to the world around her, as it was often like walking in her sleep.

She then went on to say, she often saw the other neighbours, and would hear them say something, but whatever they said did not register as she thought they were talking to someone else, and not her. Well that brings me to the end of my thoughts today only to say the old adage “Never judge a book by its cover”.

From the Armed Forces to Counselling

Articles by Paul Mallott

Why I chose Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Having trained as a Counsellor using a person-centred approach, I used many techniques and various models, which I learned in training and then put into practice in my counselling. Although I found myself to be an effective counsellor, the approaches I used...

Updated 18|07|2008

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