Cultural Differences in Counselling
By Nadia Al-Khudhairy MSc MSc Post MSc Counselling PsychologyNadia Al-Khudhairy offers Counselling, Psychology | Securely Book Online | Contact Me
Good therapists are non-judgmental. If you enter therapy via a reputable route, then you should not be concerned about any opinion your counsellor may have about your race, religion, cultural background or sexuality.
But there is a gulf of difference between such neutrality and the deep empathy that complex emotional issues often demand, particularly among people from minority ethnic communities. For them, cultural influences may be confusing, conflicting and the root causes of major stress. Only therapists who have either made a special study of the needs of minority groups or – even better – experienced them personally, will have adequate understanding and empathy.
I have been a practicing therapist for fifteen years and I am chartered by the British Psychological Society. London-based but born to Irish and Iraqi parents in the Middle East, I have seen and helped many people who are confused and distressed by the tensions of families and society which often seem to pull in different directions.
“I chose you because I knew that you had a similar cultural background,” one client told me. “If I went to another therapist, I would have to spend four or five hours explaining the cultural difference, but I wanted to start from day one.”
A client may be facing a highly distressing relationship problem. His or her parents may expect to ensure their child’s marriage partner is selected from within the cultural group, whereas the client may see nothing wrong in developing a loving partnership with a person from outside. I understand that such clients often face the agony of choosing between their family and the partner they love. There are ways to help, but a good understanding of the background issues can make it so much easier.
My own experience of therapy – which us therapists must all go through when training – is interesting. My therapist simply could not understand why, as an unmarried woman, I still lived at home with my parents. She was actually trying to make me leave home. I tried hard to make her understand that in our culture this was quite normal, but she still thought I had ‘attachment issues’, and from her theoretical perspective that was understandable. But it was still wrong!
I currently work with clients who hail from ten different nations. It is an exciting illustration of London’s cultural diversity. Even Greeks, Russians, and Australians, whom one might expect to adapt easily to European life, have cultural stresses which can make them feel very isolated.
They are not necessarily lost or lonely, but they get more stressed because their support network is scattered around the world. They assume – rightly – that at least I know what it is like to be a new arrival in a strange land. Sensitivity to cultural diversity just comes naturally to me.
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This article was written by RSCPP Therapist Nadia Al-Khudhairy:
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