Thinking About How To Stay Together?
Richard Cruz offers Counselling
We live in times of being morbidly obsessed about celebrity split-ups and news that Jordan and Peter Andre are divorcing will make some of us pour scorn on a relationship that did not lack in terms of financial abundance and say cynically that it was never going to work, like all the others that have gone the same way, perhaps taking some satisfaction in the demise of other’s relationship struggles because we are finding our relationship challenging or because we are alone and want to be with someone. Whatever feelings emerge, such a public couple cannot fail to stir some reaction and in the very least perhaps make us reflect on our own relationship and its values.
Those of us who are contented in our relationship with our partner may not feel so punishing towards a couple who, to the naked eye, have it all, and may find it in us to imagine the impact and scars of a split-up on the children. We can re-evaluate our position in our relationship; empathise with just how hard it must be despite in this case the relentless seeking of the limelight, to have a relatively normal existence particularly perhaps given the rags to riches story.
Others still may have been thinking about splitting up from their partners or wondering how to stay together. Not that today’s celebrity split-up would sway things one way or another, but there may be a sense of further disappointment evoked, what’s the point, if they cannot do it then we certainly don’t have a chance…
Perhaps it is a blessing that the majority of us are not jetsetters; we are not about to uproot our families to the other side of the world chasing a narcissistic dream. We are living pretty ordinary lives as couples, married or in partnerships. But things are not well, we are in crisis and it really is make or break time. However much this relationship has ‘worked’ or merely got through until now, its not going to make it if it continues in the way that it is going; something has to change…communication and listening properly to each other have plunged to the depths.
What a waste. Couples come to me on the very edge of this crisis, they have heard the alarm bells more than once but hoped and wished that somehow it would work itself out for the better, but it hasnt and they have used up all the resources known to them to do their relationship
differently. There are still strong feelings towards each other including anger, sadness and frustration but they have made the supreme effort in picking up the phone and reaching out for the help of a couple’s counsellor. This act in itself is worth honouring and shows the degree of needing to change things for the better, by inviting me into your lives to help you do that.
Those of us who are contented in our relationship with our partner may not feel so punishing towards a couple who, to the naked eye, have it all, and may find it in us to imagine the impact and scars of a split-up on the children. We can re-evaluate our position in our relationship; empathise with just how hard it must be despite in this case the relentless seeking of the limelight, to have a relatively normal existence particularly perhaps given the rags to riches story.
Others still may have been thinking about splitting up from their partners or wondering how to stay together. Not that today’s celebrity split-up would sway things one way or another, but there may be a sense of further disappointment evoked, what’s the point, if they cannot do it then we certainly don’t have a chance…
Perhaps it is a blessing that the majority of us are not jetsetters; we are not about to uproot our families to the other side of the world chasing a narcissistic dream. We are living pretty ordinary lives as couples, married or in partnerships. But things are not well, we are in crisis and it really is make or break time. However much this relationship has ‘worked’ or merely got through until now, its not going to make it if it continues in the way that it is going; something has to change…communication and listening properly to each other have plunged to the depths.
What a waste. Couples come to me on the very edge of this crisis, they have heard the alarm bells more than once but hoped and wished that somehow it would work itself out for the better, but it hasnt and they have used up all the resources known to them to do their relationship
differently. There are still strong feelings towards each other including anger, sadness and frustration but they have made the supreme effort in picking up the phone and reaching out for the help of a couple’s counsellor. This act in itself is worth honouring and shows the degree of needing to change things for the better, by inviting me into your lives to help you do that.
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This content was written by RSCPP Therapist Richard Cruz:
Face to Face Appointment: Individuals £40.00, Couples £65.00
Email Counselling Exchange: £20.00
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Updated 15|05|2009